This was very insightful and timely as I, too, am in the early days of learning about "pleasure as a measure of liberation". For me the learning journey has lead me to want to embody ethical non-monogamy and radical parenting, but I am far from actually practicing that lifestyle. I am having a difficult time turning what I read into action as someone who has been married for ten years and has a young child, and wouldn't mind another baby at some point.
Reading a couple of Esther Perel's books and "Sex At Dawn" was helpful in terms of learning the "science" behind non-monogamy but they are cis-het centered works. The next book I'm looking forward to reading and seeing if it will push me a little more into embodiment is "The Ethical Slut" by Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton.
In that post I invite people to explore the 3-minute game as one practice to explore some of these questions with a partner... it's another way of feeling into the "7 verbs": Betty Martin (who coined it) identifies four skills in two polarities: serving/receiving; taking/surrendering.
This was very insightful and timely as I, too, am in the early days of learning about "pleasure as a measure of liberation". For me the learning journey has lead me to want to embody ethical non-monogamy and radical parenting, but I am far from actually practicing that lifestyle. I am having a difficult time turning what I read into action as someone who has been married for ten years and has a young child, and wouldn't mind another baby at some point.
Reading a couple of Esther Perel's books and "Sex At Dawn" was helpful in terms of learning the "science" behind non-monogamy but they are cis-het centered works. The next book I'm looking forward to reading and seeing if it will push me a little more into embodiment is "The Ethical Slut" by Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton.
A second post continuing this one is here: https://citizenstout.substack.com/p/the-audacity-of-desire
In that post I invite people to explore the 3-minute game as one practice to explore some of these questions with a partner... it's another way of feeling into the "7 verbs": Betty Martin (who coined it) identifies four skills in two polarities: serving/receiving; taking/surrendering.