Beautiful post Brian. I'm happy you are able to express who you are and thank you for sharing the journey with us. I resonate and feel the same way as you: I identify as non-binary, though I pass for cis and have arrived at the same conclusion in conversation with a dear non-binary friend and activist.
And as for being queer, I've loved this way of thinking about it from the poet Brandon Wint: “Not queer like gay; queer like escaping definition. Queer like some sort of fluidity and limitlessness all at once. Queer like a freedom too strange to be conquered. Queer like the fearlessness to imagine what love can look like, and to pursue it.”
Perhaps now is the time to apologize for calling you Chip (for Chippendale) for the first decade I knew you? In my defense, you were rarely seen with a shirt.
This is such a complex and challenging topic. I applaud the grace and courage with which you think in writing about it.
I feel a good deal of resistance, and a good deal of curiosity, as I read and contemplate your words, and indeed most discussion on the subject. (The ambiguity is compelling in itself: "pay attention," it says.)
I'm someone with queernesses who doesn't identify as queer, and someone with a relationship to gender (my own, the concept) that is not easily located on a spectrum. I don't experience this as a problem that needs addressing outside my private self...and I'm aware that my layers of privilege very likely contribute to that experience. I'm curious. I'm listening. Thank you for your openness and the gift of your considered writing.
This really resonates with me! I have long thought about my gender, ever since I was a kid, not really sure I was a boy or if I was girl, but something complete and in between. As I have gotten older and embraced my queerness, I have also considered how I might be non-binary, or gender queer. For me I have ascribed more to queerness as identity and for situating myself in a political spectrum. Thanks for sharing your experience and your reflections on how expressing gender identity can lead to by-passing of settler responsibility and accountabilities to white supremacy.
Brian - as one who identifies - as: Cis, Hettish, Jewish, Aspie, Upper-Middle Class, white, "older", Privileged - I find your discussion of - Identity Interesting (particularly when I understand what you are referencing). My sense is that most, if not all, of us - have our personal and ancestral traumas - to work our way through. Personally - I try to use - my heart and spirit - to: 1.) Seek to Build Allyship - with others - both in communities that feel "with me" as well I'm an "outsider", 2.) Work - on my "Otherness", 3.) Move Towards - Connection - through Mutual Aid related work- In my path - I'm tied to a variety of Groups/Organizations dealing with multiple issues. Others I respect greatly focus basically upon a Single Key Issue (e.g. "climate change"). For me: Reproductive Justice - is the "ultimate 'other' " - as for example: how do I directly relate to the fact that 20-25% of Teenage Girls - can't afford sanitary supplies - such as tampons - and many of them avoid going to school during their periods - being ashamed of visible blood on their clothing. I'm a Clinic Escort, a member of the SF Bay Area Reproductive Justice Coalition, and the Instigator towards, co-founder, co-facilitator of: Men for Equity and Reproductive Justice (MERJ) (www.JoinMERJdotorg). Racism - also is important to me - and one of my strongest ties is with: AWARE-LA (www.awareladotorg) - a Los Angeles based group. Friday - was my first day - leafletting with Women in Black at U of CA - Berkeley (Palestinian Support), today - was a protest in SF - against a "radical feminist" (sic) group - who believe that Trans Women - are often the Rapists of what they see as "real women" (sic), tomorrow - I will join the leadership group for Aware-LA's - "Saturday Dialogues" (Sunday) monthly gathering - allyship - Relaxing and chilling - are also important for not burning out - and Monday will be a relaxing day. Gender - is a deep issue for me - anyone including you (Brian) interested in contact - see: www.MyFirstNameLastNameDotOrg and/or email me at: MyLastNameGeoAtGeeMaleDotCom, Curiosity, Feeling and Experiencing My Feelings - including the Pain and Hurt, Hearing and Embracing Disagreement/Criticism/ Questions and More - and Particularly Seeking Meaning - not "pleasure" in Life - is Perhaps Most Important!
Beautiful post Brian. I'm happy you are able to express who you are and thank you for sharing the journey with us. I resonate and feel the same way as you: I identify as non-binary, though I pass for cis and have arrived at the same conclusion in conversation with a dear non-binary friend and activist.
And as for being queer, I've loved this way of thinking about it from the poet Brandon Wint: “Not queer like gay; queer like escaping definition. Queer like some sort of fluidity and limitlessness all at once. Queer like a freedom too strange to be conquered. Queer like the fearlessness to imagine what love can look like, and to pursue it.”
Perhaps now is the time to apologize for calling you Chip (for Chippendale) for the first decade I knew you? In my defense, you were rarely seen with a shirt.
ha! actually, I now respond to he, they, and Chip (understood as nongendered)
Laughing my ass off
This is such a complex and challenging topic. I applaud the grace and courage with which you think in writing about it.
I feel a good deal of resistance, and a good deal of curiosity, as I read and contemplate your words, and indeed most discussion on the subject. (The ambiguity is compelling in itself: "pay attention," it says.)
I'm someone with queernesses who doesn't identify as queer, and someone with a relationship to gender (my own, the concept) that is not easily located on a spectrum. I don't experience this as a problem that needs addressing outside my private self...and I'm aware that my layers of privilege very likely contribute to that experience. I'm curious. I'm listening. Thank you for your openness and the gift of your considered writing.
This really resonates with me! I have long thought about my gender, ever since I was a kid, not really sure I was a boy or if I was girl, but something complete and in between. As I have gotten older and embraced my queerness, I have also considered how I might be non-binary, or gender queer. For me I have ascribed more to queerness as identity and for situating myself in a political spectrum. Thanks for sharing your experience and your reflections on how expressing gender identity can lead to by-passing of settler responsibility and accountabilities to white supremacy.
Brian - as one who identifies - as: Cis, Hettish, Jewish, Aspie, Upper-Middle Class, white, "older", Privileged - I find your discussion of - Identity Interesting (particularly when I understand what you are referencing). My sense is that most, if not all, of us - have our personal and ancestral traumas - to work our way through. Personally - I try to use - my heart and spirit - to: 1.) Seek to Build Allyship - with others - both in communities that feel "with me" as well I'm an "outsider", 2.) Work - on my "Otherness", 3.) Move Towards - Connection - through Mutual Aid related work- In my path - I'm tied to a variety of Groups/Organizations dealing with multiple issues. Others I respect greatly focus basically upon a Single Key Issue (e.g. "climate change"). For me: Reproductive Justice - is the "ultimate 'other' " - as for example: how do I directly relate to the fact that 20-25% of Teenage Girls - can't afford sanitary supplies - such as tampons - and many of them avoid going to school during their periods - being ashamed of visible blood on their clothing. I'm a Clinic Escort, a member of the SF Bay Area Reproductive Justice Coalition, and the Instigator towards, co-founder, co-facilitator of: Men for Equity and Reproductive Justice (MERJ) (www.JoinMERJdotorg). Racism - also is important to me - and one of my strongest ties is with: AWARE-LA (www.awareladotorg) - a Los Angeles based group. Friday - was my first day - leafletting with Women in Black at U of CA - Berkeley (Palestinian Support), today - was a protest in SF - against a "radical feminist" (sic) group - who believe that Trans Women - are often the Rapists of what they see as "real women" (sic), tomorrow - I will join the leadership group for Aware-LA's - "Saturday Dialogues" (Sunday) monthly gathering - allyship - Relaxing and chilling - are also important for not burning out - and Monday will be a relaxing day. Gender - is a deep issue for me - anyone including you (Brian) interested in contact - see: www.MyFirstNameLastNameDotOrg and/or email me at: MyLastNameGeoAtGeeMaleDotCom, Curiosity, Feeling and Experiencing My Feelings - including the Pain and Hurt, Hearing and Embracing Disagreement/Criticism/ Questions and More - and Particularly Seeking Meaning - not "pleasure" in Life - is Perhaps Most Important!